I work with a person who has three qualities that I don’t ever like to see all in one person: He’s a conservative republican, highly religious, and LOVES to hear his own voice. Therefore he will suck you into a conversation and you just can’t leave. He also has no social skills. So when you attempt to end the conversations by turning your back or if at your desk, begin to work, he just keeps on talking.
He fancies himself quite intelligent yet he is so sheltered that he has no idea what the world is beyond his little bubble. He has tried to discuss homosexuality with a lesbian and was sure he knew more about it than she. He once listened to a CD that I lent him of a woman singer/songwriter who happens to be Chinese-American. He told me she had a good voice…for being Asian. I don’t think I need to say anymore for you to understand how I feel about him. Though I will say, I do not believe him to be an asshole, just naïve.
So today I walked by his desk, as I have to do to put my lunch in the fridge. I know this what is coming. In fact, he only works two days a week and on those two days I usually try to either go out to lunch or bring something that does not need to go in the fridge because I know what I’m in for if I have to make the trip past his cubicle. But today I forgot. So I breeze by like I’m in a hurry and do my casual, “Hey Joe� (his name’s not really Joe). He says hi back and then asks me a question about something I had asked him to look at regarding work. This is fine, we have a quick little conversation about that and I turn tail to leave. That’s when he says, “Oh hey! Look what I got!�
I wince and do the mental ‘oooh, made it by *this* much’ and turn back around. But I’m confident I can make it quick. What’s he got? Why, it’s the ENTIRE Bible on MP3 on 4 discs and he’s listening to it right now!
I just say, “Oh, amazing they can fit the whole thing onto 4 discs, huh?� and try and continue walking away. No dice. I get, first the monologue on how it’s possible to compress that much audio on 4 discs. But then he starts telling me about the guy who is reading/reciting it. Now I know I’m in for the long haul.
Apparently, the man had once tried to be an actor. He didn’t find it very fulfilling, however, because he felt like he was not expressing himself by just reading other people’s words. He didn’t even like doing religious plays for the same reason. He didn’t feel there was any room for interpretation or self-expression. This makes perfect sense; I can see how someone would feel that way. I would assume a person like that would then want to get into public speaking so he could speak his own thoughts and words.
But here’s what this man chose to do…he reads the bible “on tape�. WORD FOR WORD. I do want to get out of there, but feel I must say, “So how is that different than acting? Isn’t he still reading someone else’s words?�
“Well…yes…but it’s The Bible!� I worry that we’re about to get into the discussion about how the Bible was not written by people but gods or some such nonsense. But I merely say,
“Still written by someone other than him, though.� I counter.
“Well, but…he believes every word, he’s a Christian,…� he stammers.
“Clearly.�
“…so he gets to add his own inflections to the words and make it more understandable.�
“But he’s still using the exact words, right?�
“Right.�
Isn’t that exactly what actors do? They recite words that someone else has written using vocal inflections to elicit emotion, or to tell a story right?
This is where I gave up. I knew this wasn’t something I was going to get across; he also has a stubborn quality. So I tried to end the conversation. He then told me about how he met someone on the bus who once told him that he couldn’t believe that someone as intelligent as Joe would limit himself to only one way of thought. I said the man might have a point.
He said, that it might be only one way of thought, but that it makes his life easier. This way he doesn’t have to think too much or have trouble making decisions. (I imagine he’s referring to the whole “let go, let God� thing). He has a set of standards that he believes in, and anything that happens to him gets put through these filters, which make it real easy for him to interpret.
This scares the crap out of me. Is no one thinking for him/herself anymore? Is no one speaking his or her own thoughts anymore?
Instead of saying this to him, I just said, “Well, whatever works for you.� Believe me, it wouldn’t have helped to say anything else. If a lesbian can’t help him to understand homosexuality and he continues to believe what he wants, then I’m certainly not going to get anywhere on this topic. I’ve gone down that road before. He’s not interested in intelligent debate, just in making you believe what he believes.
I feel like I’ve made progress if I can at least get him to stop trying with me.
Is anyone else scared? He’s not the only one out there like this.
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This post was written by Amy on September 29, 2005
